no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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