1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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