dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
