Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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