I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize