im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
