i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
