I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
