I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
