Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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