i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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