Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
