I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
