Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
