how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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