i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
