Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
