How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize