I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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