I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
