Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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