Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
handjob tips. give me some.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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