you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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