this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize