As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
