my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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