The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My balls are so social today.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So much rum. So many feels.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize