The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
