This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
