Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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