Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
