$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
