Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
