I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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