your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize