glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So much Jack, so little girl.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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