I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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