some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
