we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
