I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
