your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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