Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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