careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it's like heaven, but drunker
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
