I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
