i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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