turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
