worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
