It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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