I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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