So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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