batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
