i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
