I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
