I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
