I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
