I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
