i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
3pm strippers are depressing
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
