How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize