remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
