so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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