Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
