it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
