You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
