I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
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