Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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