You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
