I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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