She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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