take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
