Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize