dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
