Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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