i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
