is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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