I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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