ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The ass gains better be worth it
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