so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
