carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You ruined the universe
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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