can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
