I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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