What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize