operation harelip BJ is a go
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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