their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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