I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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