I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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