I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize