I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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