alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
