Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
